Robert Not Bob

Slip slidin’ away
Slip slidin’ away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you’re slip slidin’ away

“Slip Slidin’ Away” is a 1977 song written and recorded by Paul Simon that first appeared on his compilation album Greatest Hits, Etc.  The song was originally recorded for Simon’s 1975 album Still Crazy After All These Years, but the song did not make it onto the final cut of the album. It released as a single in October 1977 and became a major hit, peaking at No. 5 on the pop charts. While COIVID-19 was not a thing in the late 70’s, I think this song captures how many of us feel these days about the uncertainly of our lives as we continue through this pandemic. It’s like our lives are a bit slippery and we are sliding all over the place.

As we all continue to try and find our footing in what seems to be an ever changing “new normal”, many of us may find ourselves struggling with keeping up our motivation level – both professionally and personally.   In our prior normal times, many of us used our social interactions at the office and outside the office as the de-facto motor for our actions.  We fed off the interpersonal and social cues and gravitated towards actions that resulted in those cues being positive.  However, in our current socially distanced and shelter in place environment, those types of cues are less frequent and filtered by distance.  If like me, you find yourself stopping to take a deeper dive into ourselves to figure out our true inner drive in an attempt to better understand what makes our internal clock tick.

Years ago, I read a book appropriately enough titled What Makes You Tick:  How Successful People Do It and What You Can Learn from Them.  Long title, but a fairly easy read.

The book goes through 40+ interviews of successful people across a wide spectrum, pulling out the personality traits that are at the core of their success.   The book groups these successful individuals into 4 general types:  Natural Born Leaders, Independence Seekers, Visionaries, Do-Gooders.  Each of those in a group exhibited certain common traits – including motivational traits.  I thought it would be good to highlight a few of those motivational traits for each group.

The Natural Born Leader – these are the people that expect to succeed and know they will.  They thrive on taking on the big challenges and moving up the proverbial ladder faster than anyone else. The common motivational traits seen most often in Natural Born Leaders are:

• Strive to be the absolute best in anything they do (if you ain’t first, you’re last)
• Strive for original achievement (being the first to do something)
• Enjoyment of working in large complex organizations where there are multiple opportunities to succeed.

The Independence Seeker – these are the people that live life on their own terms.  They are inspired and challenged by specific projects rather than obtaining a higher position.  They set challenging goals, but change them frequently.  The common motivational traits seen most often in Independence Seekers are:

• Preference for reaching goals over achieving perfection.
• A desire for recognition that they made things happen

The Visionary – these are the people that see things others do not.  They are typically singularly focused, relentless and innovative.  They look not at what we are doing, but what we could be doing.  They believe in the art of the possible.   The common motivational traits seen most often in Visionaries are:

• Relentless drive towards pursuit of their vision, even when presented with setbacks
• Inner satisfaction achieved from personal fulfillment, not public recognition.

The Do-Gooders – these are people focused on working towards the greater good and helping other people. Their management style is built on personal contact and connections.  Their personal goals are often intertwined with the goals of their organization.  The common motivational traits seen most often in Do-Gooders are:

• Willingness to sacrifice self-interest for the greater good and social change
• A drive to be the best, never compromising on quality or effort.

While I am not suggesting that any of us will fit neatly into any one of these groups – we are after all unique complex beings – I do think each of us probably gravitate to one or more of the motivational traits. As turbulent as these times are, this a good time to reflect on what motivates you; create your own personal definitions of success anchored in those motivations; look for situations to leverage your definitions of success; and continuously reflect on your success and alter those definitions over time.

Listen to your internal clock – it is the one motivational beacon we always have with us.  It will lead us to our destination – both professionally and personally.

Against the wind
I’m still runnin’ against the wind
I’m older now but still runnin’ against the wind
Well I’m older now and still runnin’
Against the wind

Nothing like a little Bob Seger to set the theme for my latest thoughts. I think for many, the last month plus has felt like a run against the wind. The practice group at my firm (www.weaver.com) usually does a Motivation Monday piece to get the team thinking about various topics. The members of the management group rotate on who provides the motivation piece and this week I had the opportunity to be the motivator. I thought I would share some thoughts with you inspired by that piece.

Both of my daughters played golf in high school and one picked up the game many years prior to that. While I am a horrible golfer, I tried to encourage their love of the game as best I could. Being a life-long Longhorn, I turned to one of the legends of the University of Texas and THE legend of golf instructors – Harvey Penick.   While he was a great swing coach, he was even a better mental coach, both on and off the course. I read several books based on his life’s teachings, but I especially clung to his Little Red Book for words of wisdom to share with my girls and for my own use. For those of you who have not heard of Harvey Penick, he was the long-time golf coach at UT-Austin and a club pro at Austin Country Club. One of the legendary figures in the world of golf. The Little Red Book is a series of small anecdotes about golf, but many also apply to life. As I continue to try to process the events surrounding the Covid-19 pandemic, I thought about one of the stories in that book.

It is a tale is about a golfer who contacted Harvey the night before the championship round of a tournament looking for advice. The forecast called for high winds and the golfer typically played poorly on windy days. He wanted to know the secret to playing well when faced with windy conditions.   Harvey’s advice to him was:

“Wind tends to make people hurry. I believe more accidents happen on and off the golf course in March than in any other month, because of the wind. On all shots into the wind, pay careful attention to your balance. Do not hurry yourself or your swing. Just be normal…. Remember, the wind is blowing as hard for your opponent as it is for you. Take your time. Keep your balance. Don’t let the wind make you hurry or swing hard.”

We have certainly all been playing in high wind for the past 4+ weeks. And if you are like me, there are times all this Covid-19 stuff makes you feel a little off balance and hurried. This can make us swing a little too hard in certain areas of our life – both personally and professionally. On the golf course, hurrying your swing or swinging harder than normal can lead to your ball ending up in a hazard and playing from a hazard under windy conditions can lead to disastrous results. The same holds true in life. All to often when we experience hardships or unexpected conditions, our instinct is to just force our way through it instead of gathering our balance and taking a normal step. Unfortunately, if you press too hard with those around you or enter into a situation off balance, it can lead to unintended negative results.

Perhaps we need to take Harvey’s advice and realize we are all playing in the same conditions; then slow down, find our balance, and swing normal.

I want to run, I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside
I wanna reach out and touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see that dust cloud disappear without a trace
I wanna take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name, oh oh

Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
We’re still building then burning down love
Burning down love
And when I go there, I go there with you
It’s all I can do

The city’s a flood
And our love turns to rust
We’re beaten and blown by the wind
Trampled into dust

I’ll show you a place
High on the desert plain
Where the streets have no name, oh oh

I think have a called upon lyrics from U2 a time or two before, and these lyrics from Where The Streets Have No Name from the epic 1987  The Joshua Tree album seem fitting for my latest thoughts.  These thoughts are not literally about being on a street without a name, but certainly about streets where many of us forget there are names.

I recent spent a roughly 24 hour period walking around downtown Austin, TX wearing a yellow t-shirt with the word PILGRIM across the front of it in really large letters.  No I wasn’t part of a Colorado River based re-enactment of the landing at Plymouth Rock – I was volunteering as an adult leader for the St Dominic Savio Catholic High School (www.saviochs.org) junior class street retreat.

The retreat is designed to be a chance to learn through encounters and to briefly be immersed (slightly) in a different experience.  It gives the students (and the adults) an opportunity to learn more about the needs and challenges faced by our brothers and sisters who live on the street. And to see these brothers and sisters in a different light.  The retreat is not a service trip – in fact part of the retreat is to experience being served – something that is uncomfortable for many including me.

The retreat started with 60+ people – all wearing matching PILGRIM shirts – being dropped off near Zilker Park late afternoon and breaking into smaller groups of 6-8 people.  The groups then ate dinner off one of the Mobile Loaves & Fishes (www.mlf.org) trucks – the same truck stocked with the same food items (just extra stocked because they know we will be there) as a normal Wednesday run. The kids lined up with others in our community in need of food and they broke bread and engaged in conversation with those in our homeless community.

It continued with a 5 mile journey through downtown to the University area – but the goal of that journey was not to just reach the destination, the goal was to have the journey – to actually stop and talk to our brothers and sisters that live on the streets, just like you would talk to an old friend you saw walking down the street.  We learned each other’s their names, where we were from, how we ended up in Austin, what we did that day, and in some cases talked about loved ones we have lost.  The night ended with Adoration and a short night’s sleep on the extremely hard gymnasium floor at St Austin’s Catholic School.

Day 2 started with a 4:30 am wake up, and breakfast at one of the downtown soup kitchens (https://www.foundationhomeless.org/programs).  Again not serving but being served breakfast from the same line as 100’s of the homeless and poor of Austin.  Note these are soup kitchens that many of the kids and adults volunteer at on a regular basis – only now they are the ones being served.  After a short daily Mass, it was more encounters on the streets and chances to stop and reflect on and talk about those encounters throughout the morning.

It was inspiring to see these 16 year old kids actually stopping to talk to those that many locals currently vilify due to recent changes to camping/sleeping ordinances that have made the homeless population much more visible around the city.   It was also humbling for me as an adult to have those same encounters with people I myself have ranted about in recent weeks or to be served from a food truck similar to the ones I volunteer on once a month or to walk into a soup kitchen (https://austinbaptistchapel.com/index.html/)  I have volunteered at many times over the past 15 years  – but this time as a person looking for a meal.  Having those conversations and being served instead of serving reminded me that those on the streets or on the verge of being on the streets are no different than me or you – we are all imperfect humans yearning to feel God’s love through one another.

One of the most poignant moments of the retreat for me came as our small group walked past a man – visibly homeless and obviously high – on a sidewalk near one of the downtown churches.  He asked me what was up with the shirts, so I briefly told him what we were doing and we talked for a minute or two.  As we were walking away he shouted –  “I hope you find what you are looking for.” And I turned and shouted back “I hope you do too brother.”

‘The poor have much to teach us – in their difficulties they know the suffering of Christ.  We are called to find Christ in them, to lend our voice to their causes, but also to be their friends, to listen to them, to speak for them and to embrace the mysterious wisdom which God wishes to share with us through them.” – Pope Francis

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’d understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Those are lyrics from the 1972 smash hit “Lean on Me” by Bill Withers. He also had several another chart topping singles like “Ain’t No Sunshine” in 1971 and “Just the Two of Us” in 1981. I wasn’t a huge Bill Withers fan when those songs were originally released, but as I have aged I have found an appreciation for all of these songs.

I chose this verse of the song lyrics because I am thinking hard about brotherhood right now. I was fortunate to grow up with a pretty good brother, as good as a brother born 7 years before you can be. He taught me a lot of things through the years, some of which I am sure our parents would disapprove of even today. But that is not the brotherhood I am thinking about now. I am thinking about fraternal brotherhood.

In college I never did the Greek Life thing, I started down that path (Delta Upsilon pledge back in 1988) but I decided days before initiation that being Greek in college was not my scene. Fast forward to 2017, and I finally became a full-fledged member of a fraternal organization. No I didn’t go back college for a Ph.D. and join a frat. I joined the Knights of Columbus – the “frat for old Catholic guys.” (Disclaimer – you don’t have to be old to become a Knight, and most of us certainly don’t feel or act old)

Now based on what my college-aged daughter tells me, the KC gatherings are pretty tame compared to the college fraternity parties. Our idea of a good darty (day party for those born before 1995) is sitting around a huge BBQ pit watching 250 pounds of meat slowly smoke to perfection while having a “KC pop or two.” And our house (or hall) is not some large fancy mansion, rather it is the parish hall complete with metal siding. But the brotherhood is real and it is strong. I never imagined being associated with a group of men that care as deeply about each other as the brothers of KC Council 10333. I also never imagined a group of men that sincerely wanted to help their community as much my KC brothers. If a food truck needs to be driven around town to distribute food to the homeless, these guys are on it. If there is a roof leak in the Church during a tropical storm, these guys are showing up with shop vacs in the middle of the night to suck up the water. If there is a need to cook a dinner for a youth group, these guys are on it. If there is a need to drive seniors to doctor appointments, these guys are gassing up the car.   They are truly modern day knights, ready to save the day whenever the call comes.

Over the past 6 weeks of the Lenten season, my fellow Knights and I have been hosting a fish fry each Friday night for the parish and the surrounding community. Imagine 50+ men with varying culinary skills, cooking up meals for approximately 300 people every week. Trust me, it’s an adventure every week, but it always comes together. It is also a pleasure to spend time with a group of men that want to serve God and their community in any way possible – even if that is breading and frying catfish or cooking up 100s of pounds of potatoes. Yes, frying food can be “God’s work.” And let me tell you, the brotherhood bonds grow strong over pots of hot oil.

This brings me back to the song. At our last fish fry, the KCs organized a flash mob of brothers to let our fellow parishioners know that we are all here to be leaned on. Now a few of my fellow brother knights have talented voices, but most of us (me included) have no business even singing in our trucks much less performing in public. But there we were, 50+ brothers standing in front of 300 people belting out Bill Withers’ hit song. (https://youtu.be/OsdVKcAkmoY) I actually think it was a pretty good gift to remind people that you don’t have to face life’s challenges alone. As Bill Withers let everyone know back in 1972:

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me

Vivat Jesus